Beware the Phantom Nerds
Month
When I was a kid, I loved pretending my friends and I were Pokémon trainers. We would battle each other, catch wild Pokémon, we would even bring our injured Pokémon back to the Pokémon center (the swingset). One thing that always intrigued me, was where you could find different species of Pokémon. My friends and I always knew that to find ground Pokémon, you would look by the sandbox, and to find grass Pokémon you’d go into the bush.
Over time, my love for Pokémon or the outdoors hasn’t changed. Now, I’m in college, studying environmental technology and biology, and of course, still playing Pokémon.
Because my knowledge of biology and ecology has bloomed, I have recently decided to write some posts hypothesizing where different species of Pokémon could be found in our world if they were actually real.
I choose a specific biome, which is a type of environment that shares similar characteristics across the world (deserts, tropical rainforests, etc) then try to estimate what Pokémon could potentially be found in that biome.
I only choose a few Pokémon for each post, but I always try my best to explain my theories as to why that Pokémon would be found in that specific biome. I use the Pokémon’s morphology, abilities, typing, biology, Pokédex entries, and what the Pokémon is designed after from the real world to support my theories.
Below you can find links to all of the Pokémon in our Biomes posts I have written so far:
- Boreal Forests
- Abyssal Zone
- African Savanna
- Urban Environments
- Tropical Rainforests (1 of 2)
- Tropical Rainforests (2 of 2)
- Alpines and Mountains
- Xeric Shrubland
- Coral Reefs
- Arctic and Antarctic Tundras
- Temperate Forests
- Beaches and Coasts
- Prairies
- Wetlands
- Caves and Underground
- Arid Deserts
- Volcanic Regions
- Halloween Special 🎃
- Open Oceans
Of course, these are only the ones I have written so far. There are dozens of biomes, and hundreds of Pokémon species. I will not cover all of the species, but there will be more posts to come as I am constantly writing and thinking of new ideas.
I hope these posts entertain you as Pokémon has always entertained me. Obviously any comments, recommendations, opinions and suggestions are always encouraged, but please remember to credit these posts if you reuse them.
Enjoy!
-mewistheancestor
New biome posts coming soon! Some Part 2′s and new biomes, but I will try to include the new Alolan Pokemon.
Stay tuned!
my favorite out of context quotes from my archeology professor so far in no particular order
- and floridians are just as human as you and me!
- and the moral of the story is that there are no deadly snakes native to alaska
- you might know this guy as one of the only archaeologists cool enough to be mentioned by indiana jones
- it’s my dream to have my name said by harrison ford
- i’m not going to apologize for having this class at 6am because you paid for it and it’s your fault.
- we don’t all dress like lara croft. i tried to get it to be a thing on a dig and my colleagues yelled at me.
- they were pretty good archaeologists except they were too racist to realize anything they found.
- i take back what i said about us not dressing like lara croft because lewis binford here is wearing nothing but short shorts and a cowboy hat. take notes for an academic halloween costume!
- archaeologists can be good artists! not me, though. or anyone i know. but if you can draw just know you have options.
- sometimes you find dead bodies when you dont really expect it and you just have to deal with it
- archaeologists are the only people allowed to get exited when they find corpses.
- once i ruined thanksgiving dinner when i told my family i had gotten my degree in archaeology and my uncle commented he liked dinosaurs too
- the closest i’ve ever been to a grizzly bear is when i left my glasses in my tent on a dig in alaska, saw a big rock in the distance, and almost screamed
additional quotes
- ah yes. archaeologists. or, as i love to call us, pottery analysts
- i mean he was kind of a good guy for helping us beat britain but he owned slaves so that really cancelled it out.
- archaeology is like cultural anthropology, except after you interview the person you turn around and shoot them in the head.
- do not use trees! trees are bad! don’t do it!
- usually you find shards, but it’s super exciting when you find a really big shard
- it’s basically like a waterpark, except you’re fully clothed and walking through a dark tunnel knee deep in muddy water. so, basically splish splash.
- i dont believe in curses but my colleagues and i like to encourage the idea of them so people stop touching our stuff
- usually, you would find a knife in a kitchen. or underneath your pillow to really freak out your roommate who is a history nerd and has no idea why you would sleep with a knife under your pillow and he’ll get really scared and freaked out and okay i’m getting off topic
- no matter what the other scientists say, archaeology is a real science.
- don’t worry, i promise you, and whatever government agency that’s spying on me right now, that i’m not a crazy communist trying to overthrow the government
- by now you’ve noticed the big “POP QUIZ” written on the board. there isn’t one, but i wanted to see the looks on your face when you saw it. but you’re all dead inside so it’s not really funny.
- everything was fine except the citizens of pompeii just woke up dead the next day
- the number one question you should ask when you read old archaeology papers is “how the hell do you know?”
- nothing pisses off old men more than young people asking “why” and “prove it” so do that as often as possible
- this is incredible! all it takes is a computer the size of this room!
even more from the margins of my notebook!
- when in doubt, it’s ritualistic
- coprolites are the only shit archaeologists get excited over
- i know the only reason you’re not laughing at my hilarious jokes is because it’s early
- they called it the garbage project. which is also what people call the projects i work on when we apply for funding.
- what you have to realize is that people are fundamentally weird. they do weird stuff now and they have done it thousands of years ago.
- things come and go but pottery is forever
- i dont know if you all know this but moose are terrifying abominations.
- and today’s lesson is about the difference between dirt and soil!
- please, please, please do not eat old butter you found buried in a bog.
- normally i would say this blackboard is a feature because it isn’t portable and can’t be moved but this is a community college so who knows
one of my biggest fears is that this will get so many notes that someone in the class will see it and show it to the professor and he’ll realize half the notes ive been taking in class are jotting down the weird shit he says
I’m a total sucker for fics where Harry is dark and gets sorted into Slytherin, but I’m also really disappointed with how Ron and Hermione are treated in them
So: dark au where the trio is sorted into Slytherin
Hermione, who wants to use knowledge to change the world
Ron, who wants to finally be free of his family’s shadow
Harry, who wants to be great, to be admired, to be free
The teachers adore quick, clever Granger, but Severus worries when he sees the way she eyes the restricted section, how her mind is filled with deadly recipes and the ways to use them
The purebloods learn not to badmouth the halfbloods, not to bully the muggleborns, because Hermione knows forbidden magic, Hermione knows the untraceable poisons and the painful curses-and Hermione knows how to avoid being caught
No one outside of Slytherin pays attention to Ronald Weasley, so quiet compared to his brothers, and that’s a mistake
Ron casts his first dark spell and the power takes his breath away, Ron sinks into the comfort of blood rituals and makes outlawed sacrifices to forgotten gods
Ron wonders how his family could abandon this happiness in favor of a flickering light
Harry, the chosen one, the special one, the abandoned one
Harry looks at the light, looks at the people that did nothing for him, and dives into the dark
Lockhart dies drinking poison, Snape finds the trio huddled around Peter’s body, the aurors that find Umbridge’s remains vomit, and the Wizarding World doesn’t notice
Voldemort rises and does not face an old man and a group of do gooders
Voldemort rises and faces a witch with a brilliant mind and no taste for mercy, a wizard that delights in bloodshed and manipulates people like he moves chess pieces, and the broken, bloody boy that’s won their loyalty
Voldemort falls
I need this fanfic like I need air